I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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