You can't special order awesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
