K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
