Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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