# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
