Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OPIZZABONMYDICK
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
