Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
