I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
