I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
