youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have post one night stand depression
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
