I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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