Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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