Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
