i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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