Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry siwpwhrjdo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(313): View more from Michigan

mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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(310): View more from California

So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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(516): View more from New York

Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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(503): View more from Oregon

still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.

(1+64): View more from

I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.

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