brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Mom said you looked used
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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