It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
