the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
