im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
