I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In other news, I just burned my penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
