i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
