Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
