Say something about gay babies.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
did you just send me my own nude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
