How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
