what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Two words: blizzard sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
