she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
