I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
