If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
