community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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