My room smells like vodka and shame
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
