I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
