i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
