turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
