There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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