Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
