Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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