Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
