the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
