i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
vagina is talking i cant
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
