No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
