Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
