we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
