can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
