I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
