So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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