also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
