you would pick up someone in the library
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Of course I have a pirate flag
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
