Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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