no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
