I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
