she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
